tfspeakersedge

CARNAGE

2012-01-18T19:41:00.000-08:00

This film, based on the Broadway hit play, THE GOD OF CARNAGE, makes a few bloody points: civility is dead, passive aggressiveness rules, and love is a fancy word for loathing.

Two couples get together to discuss a fight that took place between their respective sons. And while the immediate goals are empathy and reconciliation, anger outs itself in viciously hilarious ways.

The claustrophobic film shocks you and makes you howl, hopefully by not holding the mirror up to nature.

Speech-wise, however, one point is clear: getting the last word in is not a tactic that insures peaceful resolution of conflict.

And that is what happens again and again. And when it does, calm is lost and the storm becomes more tumultuous.

Either lay everything on the table at the start, or accept the fact that compromise is just that--relenting a little. Throwing something in another's face after a settlement is counterproductive.

ELEMENTARY, MY DEAR WATSON.

2012-01-07T22:39:00.000-08:00

I love these films.

On the way out of fmills amc movie theatre, i noticed that my car lights were flickering, and then. . . i saw a family. . .get into my Sonata. Thank God I realized, as I was about to stop them, that their car, which was identical to mine, was actually next to mine. This led to a funny exchange, then to an admission of our mutual admiration of the film, and to their suggestion that I see the new BBC Sherlock.

What I love about this flick is the witty repartee, the understated acting during even the wildest of moments. And I adore the metatheatricality. Being able to act out a vision is an awesome literary technique--the calculated self-conscious act of acting. Some see this as a high tech take on Holmes that undermines its integrity; I see it as a copacetic union of brainy forethought and brawn.

I already have found a link to the Brit version: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p00999wm

I can't wait to see it.

There are a few speech lessons to be learned from this film. The main one is this. Maintain your cool under pressure. Class goes a long way.

When things go awry mid-speech, more than anything you need your alertness to pull you through it. You can't break down, cry, cuss, or storm out the door. Instead, you need to think, in an instant, "how do I fix this" and "how do I make it look easy?"

A second lesson involves humor. Acknowledging an error with a simple (maybe self effacing) witticism generally provides not only a way out of the bind, one the the audience will appreciate, but also gives you a few seconds for the strategic part of our brain to regroup and to get back on track.

SCHADENFREUDE

2012-01-04T18:46:00.000-08:00

NICKY:
Ooh, how about...
Straight-A students getting Bs?

GARY COLEMAN:
Exes getting STDs!

NICKY:
Waking doormen from their naps!

GARY COLEMAN:
Watching tourists reading maps!

NICKY:
Football players getting tackled!

GARY COLEMAN:
CEOs getting shackled!

NICKY:
Watching actors never reach

GARY AND NICKY:
The ending of their oscar speech!
Schadenfreude!

SCHADENFREUDE is one of the more popular songs in the musical AVENUE Q. German in origin, the word defines the relief people feel when bad luck or misfortune clobbers someone ELSE. In one sense, it is natural to feel relief if you are the not the one on the fatal flight. But on the other hand, it is not cool--in fact it's sick and cruel--to take pleasure in another's pain.

Why does schadenfreude give some of us a rush? Well, let's get hypothetical.
Jody is unhappy--he drinks, he smokes and that's about it. He is envious of his colleague Jeff who has a loving family, drives a fancy car, and vacations in Europe twice a year.

When Jeff is audited by the IRS, Jody lights up like a Christmas tree, delighting in what might be Jeff's demise. And furthermore, Jody makes sure that everyone in the building knows how miserable Jeff is going to be.

So what's really going on here. I think it's clear. Jody needs Jeff's bloody misfortune to sustain himself--he is the leech who survives by sucking the life out of its victim. But the blood he drinks is bad--it doesn't make Jody's life better, it doesn't make him happier, it doesn't lead to any fulfillment.

Most ignore the schadenfreudics of the world. And that is okay if you literally turn away when they gossip about crap that happens to someone else. Let them instantly know that you will give them no heed. But if you just remain silent, they will continue their sad show, hurt people whose lives are none of their business, and ensnare you in their gossipy web.

So, throw a few questions out: what about that makes you happy? what makes you want to make matters worse? why are you spending your time and my time obsessing about something like that? and why don't you spend quality time lifting someone hurting up--this might make you feel better as well.

Do you know any gossipy schadenfreudics?

SILENCE IS GOLDEN

2011-12-28T13:16:00.000-08:00

The film, THE ARTIST, pays homage to the golden age of silent film. And this film, except in a few well chosen places, is devoid of spoken words.

It depicts the booming career of a silent film star whose flicks kill at the box office, until a pretty new ingenue, one whose career he unintentionally launches, inches him out of the picture with a new talkie.

But it is not just about that. It's about commitment to principles and to people and to one's own art.

Most amazing is the fact that the audience sat spellbound, laughing, cheering, even crying, at events that went without words, proving that the face and the body can communicate beautifully.

Often, when we are asked to speak, our bodies freeze, and we lose the natural connection nd congruity between emotion/thought, words, and physical expressiveness.

Here is some advice for those who experience "the freeZe."

First, look into a mirror , deliver your text in your mind, and make your face act out, in an exaggerated way, every word, every phrase.

Second, tap into your breath. If asked to breathe mad, you will not only be able to do that instantly but your face and body will show evidence of the angry emotion, amaking any word you say sound "mangy." Smile.

The same is true for all the emotions. Breathe sad, and your body and face will show sadness. Breathe glad, and your physical self will exude buoyancy. And so on.

So, take your script. Write the emotions you need to feel next to certain lines and paragraphs. Then breathe the emotions. Take time doing so. Then add the words. In this way your body will be totally expressive, in sync with the words and the emotiOns.

Third, try to communicate with your face in the silences. After a pause, look at the audience with your face showing the emotion you what them to feel. And bounce your eye contact from one to a few people so that the whole audience can see what you are feeling, evidenced by your facial expression.

More about this later.

But see THE ARTIST. My theatre audience gave it a resounding ovation both times I saw it.

Silence is golden

2011-12-24T19:39:00.000-08:00

Merry Xmas
I just saw the silent film THE ARTIST, a wonderful entry that pays homage to a bygone era. More about speech lessons to be gleaned from it tomorrOw . I dOn't want to upstage Santa ;)

TIS THE SEASON TO INDULGE--UGH UGH UGH UGH UGH, UGH UGH UGH UGH

2011-12-23T21:19:00.000-08:00

OK--i am not to eat very spicy food
OK--i am not to eat overly bulky, hard-to-digest food
OK--i am not to eat a lot at one sitting
SO--what did i do

YOU GOT IT.

But the stomach cramps are making me forget about my knee pain.
Ba dum bun.

When we write speeches, we need to realize certain truths
--many don't like over-written texts that are too spiced up: too ornate, too metaphoric, too silly
--many don't like paragraphs that are bulky or sentences that are too complex to follow easily
--many do not like long self indulgent speeches

You see, it is all about simply phrased simple messages that audiences can digest at one sitting, and leave feeling simply and happily satisfied, not bloated, not burned-

FALALALALA

2011-12-23T00:12:00.000-08:00

This eve I saw a fun and funky review, a xmas parody/burlesque, consisting of scenes that, initially, involved sexy and scantily clad performers putting clothes...back on!

The counter-intuitive choice was brilliant and it can teach us all lessons.

The downright unexpected can be the upbeat switch that can keep your audience alive--thinking, awake, and oh-so curious.

Take a contrary stance, concede the ornery part of it, and make the audience see another point of view.

MY WEEK WITH MARILYN--MY TAKE ON THE FLICK

2011-12-11T19:33:00.000-08:00

I'M BACK.
And I just saw MY WEEK WITH MARILYN, a film that grew on me, as did Michelle Williams' performance of the icon herself.

Seeing how Marilyn was so dependent on her schoolmarm-y acting coach, I was inspired to say a few words.

True--when you speak/act, often it is best, if you have stage fright, to pretend that the audience is a set of your most supportive friends and that your performance is actually the hobby that brings a smile to your face. That is what Marilyn was told to do a few times as she was struggling against many odds to remember and be comfortable with her lines.

True--what Olivier keeps on insisting is accurate: it's just acting. Just pretend.

True: finally what Marilyn learns is that by being true to her self--heck by just being herself--she can shine.

Take a pick as to which tip or what combo works for you.

PS: Eventually, Ms Williams' Marilyn became Marilyn---for me anyway; my eyes watered at her vulnerability, her charm; at whatever it was that makes her, to this day, so memorable.

No gorging

2010-08-27T22:22:00.000-07:00

I am home, I'll from gorging. Okay, it's not a pleasant subject, but diverticulitis is not a pleasant ailment. Trust me.

This condition reemerges when 1)I eat too quickly, and therefore not realizing how much I have put down; 2) I eat too much at one sitting; 3 I eat too much of the wrong thing.

Speech lesson to be learned? You bet.

First, do not rush to the finish; you need time to gauge audience reaction and they need time to process what you are saying.

Second, do not cover too much material in one speech. Talk about something specific;limit your thesis.

Third, do not overkill. Too many stats will boggle the mind; too many jokes will cheapen your intent, and undermine your ethos; too many pauses will put the audience to sleep.

More on this at another time. I am on a liquid diet for two weeks, and my tummy is calling for beef broth.

Go with the flow

2010-08-18T18:41:00.000-07:00

In 2013, in Philadelphia, we will be hosting the cfl national championships in speech and debate. To do this, we need to find 400 classrooms that can host the competition and a few thousand hotel rooms to lodge our guests,

We have the hotels: the cc marriots, the Sheraton, and the embassy suites. The rooms have been hard to find.

Today, we visited temple university, an area of the city that one member of our committee wanted to avoid. But once I set foot on campus, I knew this was then place to be. The area had energy. The buildings were new and impressive. The reps we met were vibrant, and eager to have us.

I can see temple finding us at least 200 rooms, a number that would put our search to an end.

See, it is best to set aside prejudgements---all they do is keep you from forging ahead. Explore territories, new ones and forgotten ones.

DINNER AT THE DAHLGRENS

2010-08-12T22:39:00.000-07:00

I just had dinner at the Dahlgren household--a thank you feast for 4 years of working with their amazingly talented son in forensics.

First, we had finger food appetizers: i can't tell you how many pieces of stuffed olives, pepperoni, cheese, hot peppers, veggies I put down.

Then came the salads, and the steak, and the shrimp, and the veggies.

The came dessert: decadent brownies, fruit pizza (to die for) and naked chocolate from my favorite place on walnut street, between 12th and 13th in cc Philly.

I have two questions: What exactly did I eat? And how much did I consume of each?

Answers: I am not sure and I am not sure.

What speech lesson do we glean from this?

First, every speech has a beginning, a middle, and an end. If you overplay the introduction (the appetizers), the audience may not be able to--or want to--consume the body (the entrée.) And if you offer too much of one thing (too much humor, too many puns, too many stats) the audience may develop a distaste for what you are offering or may feel intellectually bloated by it.

So plan your speaking menu wisely.

THE COMEBACK

2010-08-03T21:29:00.001-07:00

One of my more recent favorite films is THE WRESTLER, in which the comeback kid, Mickey Rourke plays a comeback ring veteran, who got over the fact that he thought he was a has been, and rebuilt himself from the inside out to rise to the top.

The film is more complicated than I make it, but one moral is clear: never count yourself out.

Recently, I witnessed a young gal go blank for 30 seconds, while speaking to an audience of several thousand. She stood there, poised, until she regained her train of thought. Then she continued, seemingly unfazed by the lapse, and later admitted how she couldn't wait to seize the stage again.

This gal had chutzpah. This gal did not let a downer get her down.

This gal knew that the audience was behind her, feeling her pain perhaps even moreso than she. And she felt their relief and support when she regained her footing.

Remember--keep on keeping on.

YOU THINK I'M FUNNY?

2010-08-03T21:12:00.000-07:00

HUMOR ME...

in speechmaking, do use humor, to break up the seriousness (maybe,) but don't be offensive.

Witticisms are fine; sarcastic comments at the expense of another are not. Comments that continually show that you are clever, may make you seem arrogant, hifalutin, alienating you from the listeners. Foul humor is an instant deal-breaker; speaking situations should edify and ennoble, not mortify.

ughhhh

2010-08-01T21:22:00.000-07:00

No voice and a raw throat make for a sick Tony and a bad speaking situation.
Lemon. salt. zinc. elderberry. eucalyptus. tea tree oil.
The end.

SEIZING THE STAGE--STRUTTING WITH STYLE

2010-07-29T10:30:00.000-07:00

For a few days, I'm in Stanford, California, bringing an experienced eye to a speech camp, suggesting alterations and assisting any way I can.

I haven't been to these parts in 20 years--and the hot days and cool nights are rather refreshing.

Last evening we were teaching our protégées how to walk up to the front of the room with style, confidence, and panache.

A few rules:

1. Sit straight in your chair, without fidgeting with anything. Look ready.
2. Rise slowly, taking the king's or queen's time.
3. Walk up confidently, carriage erect, always looking up, face smiling.
4. As you reach the front side of the room, begin to turn o the audience, smiling at them all the way until you get to the podium or center space.
5. Pause. Take in the audience. Smile with great control.
BEGIN.

The corresponding don't do rules:

1. Don't allow the audience to see you sit slouched or fidgeting.
2. Don't dart out of your chair.
3. Don't look a the floor and don't slouch as you walk up.
4. Don't have a worried or blank look as you walk.
5. Don't dart right to the center, showing the audience too much if your back.

LITTLE THINGS COUNT. AND HOW YOU CARRY YOURSELF TO THE STAGE INSTANTLY DETERMINES HOW THE AUDIENCE PERCEIVES YOU: CONFIDENT OR NOT; HAPP TO BE SHARING OR NOT.

SSSNO TO SSSNARKINESS

2010-07-26T20:54:00.000-07:00

"SNARKY: sarcastic, impertinent, or irreverent in tone or manner (mw dictionary)

Recently I had the misfortune of hearing a presentation that was riddled--and ruined--by off color statements and condescending jokes. The result? In the formal setting, the audience became uncomfortable, offended, outraged--take your pick.

Your speaking occasion should always dignify the audience--treating them as people unaccustomed to and offended by trash talk of any kind.

Your speaking occasion is not about your proving to the audience that you are a superior schmartazz, a supercilious punster. You are there to insure that the audience receives your message simply and beautifully.

DESPICABLE ME

2010-07-26T10:03:00.001-07:00

Well-made cartoon features, these days, seem to be the reason to catch a film. DESPICABLE ME is a must see for any age.

Gru, second class villain, outdistanced by a computer nerd who stole a pyramid., wants to put the moon in his pocket, first by shrinking it with a weapon he pilfered from a foreign nation, and then by bringing it home for safe keeping,

But when his nemesis, a computer geek named Vector, steals the shrink gun from him, Gru adopts cookie selling orphaned girls to help him get it back.

See the film to figure out the ploy and to see what comes next. Also see the film because of its many winning attributes, especially its themes: that even a villain has a heart and that our children, or underlings, believe in you even if you don't believe in yourself.

You see a speech lesson coming, don't you?

The Gru in you who feels that he is only meant to be awful, needs to step aside. You can be a great speaker if you believe in yourself and if you just try, try, try. Look at mishaps along the way as stepping stones to greatness. Learning the wrong way of doing things amounts to a great education.

Your audience wants you to succeed, in the same way that the Gru's adoptees want him to be a good Daddy, one who will make it to their ballet recital. Audience's know how it feels to be up there--they have great commiseration with someone who stands in front of a crowd. So they are your friends who are cheering you on.

And as I said in a distant post, seeing each person in the audience as a child thirsting for knowledge and affection will bring out the dad in you who wants to allay heir fears.

THE HOUSEWIVES OF FRANKLIN MILLS MALL

2010-07-22T17:02:00.001-07:00

A long line of mostly women kept me company as i drove out of Franklin Mills Mall. I thought that a fire or an emergency alarm might have landed these people by the curb, especially in the hot sun. But no. It wasn't an act of fate but a force of nature that lured the hoards: it was Betheny Frankel, Bravo's new star of the "Housewives" and the new "Betheny Getting Married."

She was selling a skinny girl drink mix at the State Store (philly for booze palace) and I don't think a sudden thunder shower would have scattered the crowd.

Okay, I caught the show a few times, and I developed a great sympathy for her very patient husband. But the one thing that can be said about Betheny is this: she is not afraid to speak her mind. And it is precisely this that got her her own show, independent of the other ladies.

So, let's just focus on this--not perhaps her need to say less or to engage is some self editing before the words fly.

This gal speaks. She has passion for her thoughts. And she wants people to hear her. To get her.

Have some of her gumption, love to share your thoughts, and you are well on your way to engage an audience--or in her case to make millions tune in to her every week.

But, self editing is also needed. And this is for another time.

i'm back...

2010-07-21T21:32:00.000-07:00

After a long hiatus, I am back--with lots to say.

Yesterday, I attended a first person arts show at the upenn rotunda. My friend Paula and I cooled off by sitting directly in front of the window fan.

The performers? Well, some read not too well what they beautifully wrote. So, a tip to those who need to read a little more than they should.

Remember, the script is a person's face--it is another audience member. When you read, don't go blank. Look at the text passionately, using facial expression as your eyes pick up the words. Always end a line looking up, so that the punches of the punch lines are felt.

Also, try not to drop your whole head--just drop your eyes to the text so that we can still see much of your face. It never fails hat those with bangs or straggly hair drop their entire heads to read, preventing the audience to see he face, let alone facial expression and eye expression.

THAT'S INTENSE: SPEAKING INTENSITY

2009-08-11T20:27:00.000-07:00

THAT'S INTENSE: SPEAKING INTENSITY

While watching the film THE HURT LOCKER, I felt the intensity of each scene. Wow. What it must be like to disarm bombs; what it must be like to look for men on nearby cell phones, cell phones which when used can ignite a bomb which can blow up half of a block.

This film was very intense throughout.

When we speak, we want to have intense moments--times when we feel very passionately about our topic or when the examples we are using to illustrate a point are crucially significant and emotional; but we want to make sure that these moments are followed by "chill" ones.

Let's create a scale.

Let's say a 1-intensity moment would be one where nothing at all is at stake: you have to lick one stamp in one hour's time, with nothing else to do.

Let's say a 10-intensity moment would be one where life itself is at stake: you see your child on the window sill of your apartment and the window is open; or you yell at a friend, who is not paying attention while crossing the street, to look out, as you reach for him, quickly pulling him out of harm's way and death's door.

Decide what parts in your speech are at the lower end of intensity, in the middle range of intensity, and at the higher end. Assign a number. And rev up the passion to match the number.

Intense? Maybe--but definitely useful, especially if you are too low keyed of a speaker or too high-maintenance of a presenter.

SHORT TAKE: THE HURT LOCKER

2009-08-09T22:32:00.000-07:00

FILM REVIEW--LEADING TO A SPEAKING POINT IN MY NEXT ENTRY

I felt so claustrophobic when i saw PLATOON, that when i left the theatre I had to walk in the open air for a long time.

I had a similar feeling watching this amazing film--actually, the feeling was much worse.

The unsteady camerawork brings you right into the danger as bomb experts tread lightly to find and deactivate hidden killers. At first we are riding on the nose of a bot; then we become voyeur as the men themselves view potential triggermen in the landscape.

My blood pressure rose and did not let down. In fact, when I got home I took a little more of my BP meds than I am accustomed to.

I was fascinated by just about everything: the close up horror of war itself; the horrifically fascinating detail of snipping live bomb wires; what it means, close up, to be a human bomb, and to see its effects once detonated; the contrast of those who follow protocol to the film's hero who doesn't; the fact that the adrenaline rush becomes habit, making those who do return home either unable to stay or unable to cope.

Wow.

ACTING LIKE AN ORPHAN

2009-08-09T14:23:00.000-07:00

ACT LIKE AN ORPHAN

Last night, I caught a midnight showing of ORPHAN, about an adopted little girl who is scarier than The Exorcist's Linda Blair floating on her mattress, spewing forth execrations--and sometimes green pea soup!

What was cool was how the demon gal ACTED so demure and mature and polly-pure-bread pristine. Even the shrink believed her charade, and Daddy ate it up.

Well, I'm not suggesting that you should be a phony. But what I am saying is that when you speak, you can pretend to be whoever you want, doing whatever you like, and seeing whoever you would want to be listening.

As I have said in previous posts, you can ACT your way to the best presentation, by pretending to be the hero or even the villain, if it takes that pose to give you the chutzpah you need to win over your audience.

SPEAK LIKE JULIA CHILD

2009-08-07T23:51:00.000-07:00

SPEAK LIKE JULIA CHILD

I JUST SAW "JULIE AND JULIA" AND HEARING MERYL STREEP SPEAK THE WAY JULIA DID BROUGHT A SMILE.

IT ALSO BRINGS ME TO A TEACHING POINT.

JULIA CHILD HAD GREAT EXPRESSION. HER VOICE WAS AIR-INFUSED.

GUESS WHAT? THERE IS A JULIA CHILD IN YOU.

LAY DOWN ON THE FLOOR AND FACE THE CEILING.

YAWN. YAWN MORE.

NOW , C'MON, YAWN AS IF THERE IS NOE TOMORROW.

NOW SAY A FEW WORDS WHILE YOU ARE YAWNING. NOW SAY THE BEGINNING OF YOUR SPEECH WHILE YOU ARE YAWNING AND STRETCHING.

SPEAKING WHILE YAWNING INFUSES YOUR WORDS WITH SUCH SYLLABLE- STRETCHING AIR, THAT YOUR WORDS BOUNCE, FLOAT, SORE. YOU BEGIN TO USE NOTES THAT YOU MIGHT NEVER CONSCIOUSLY USE.

TRY IT.

AND AS JULIA WOULD SAY: BON APERITIF!

TF SHORT TAKE: JULIE AND JULIA

2009-08-07T23:50:00.000-07:00

IF YOU ARE EXPECTING A MEATY DISH, YOU'LL LEAVE HUNGRY. BUT IF YOU GO FOR A FUN APPETIZER OR A FRILLY-FAB DESSERT, THEN YOU WILL BE CONTENT, BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT THIS FILM SERVES UP.

I WANTED TO KNOW SO MUCH MORE, BUT THE DUAL STORY, AND HOW THEY CROSS, DID TAKE UP TIME--ALL 2 HOURS AND THREE MINUTES.

BUT I DID ENJOY JJ A LOT. WHO WOULDN'T? MERYL STREEP AS THE INIMITABLE JULIA CHILD (I KNOW, THIS IS A CONTRADICTION THAT ONLY MS STREEP'S TALENT COULD MAKE SENSE OUT OF!) . AMY ADAMS AS THE BLOGESS--COOKSTRESS WHOSE YEAR-LONG GOAL IS TO DO UP JULIA'S RECIPES.

THESE TWO HAMMERED IT OUT SO WELL IN DOUBT. HERE, THEY CREATE A SAVORY STEW.

I SMILED. A LOT. AND I HAD A LATE NIGHT DINNER--AT 210AM--AFTER THE SHOW!

RATE: GO SPEED RACER, GO!

2009-07-27T19:48:00.000-07:00

GO SPEED RACER, GO!

You've met him: the person who speaks so quickly that a lengthy paragraph is sped through in one breath.

You've met her: the person who speaks so slowly that one sentence appears to be a chapter's length.

The Rate/pace with which we speak is important.

Logically, if you are building a story to an exciting climax, you might want to quicken up the pace.

On the other hand, if you are explaining something delicate or difficult, speaking slowly and deliberately would give the audience time to process and understand your message.

If reading from a manuscript, mark FAST if you purposely want to build momentum; mark SLOW, if you need to slow down to assure audience understanding.

VOLUME: TALK TO THE TREES

2009-07-27T11:32:00.000-07:00

TALK TO THE TREES

I don't know why I never watched SEINFELD regularly. The few episodes I caught were hilarious, and the people types they poked fun at are ones I see all around me.

One type is the "close talker"--the kind of operson who needs to be in your face when speaking, and when that happens, the soudn is usually too soft anyway.

Another is the loud talker," who says everything with exclamation points, with the thunderous effect of angry god..

But the volume we use says...volumes... about who we are and what we mean. Sometimes, however, people get stuck in a volume rut.

If you are generally too soft of a close talker, I advise that you "talk to the trees." This is what I mean. Go outside, look at a faraway tree, and speak to it so that your voice reaches it. You'd be surprised how our volumes do adjust to distance.

Then pretend, in a small room, that the people are trees that are far away. And speak to them with the same far reaching volume.

And use common sense. If you are at a viewing, you wouldn't look into the face of the deceased and yell goodbye. An instinct tells you to be soft.

If you were announcing a hockey game, you would not whisper the play by play; instead you'd be screaming into the microphone.

If you are deadly serious, you would be soft.

If elated, you would be louder.

If reading from a manuscript, mark the text with volume shifts: mark LOUD and SOFT during parts where the contrast is appropriate.

TONE: DON'T USE THAT TONE OF VOICE,.YOUNG MAN

2009-07-27T11:16:00.000-07:00

DON'T USE THAT TONE OF VOICE, YOUNG MAN

If I had a quarter for every time my mother said this to me, I could have retired by my senior year of high school.

The tone we take when saying what we say, says more than the words themselves. And a speaker who does not make tonal choices generally goes ignored or is not taken seriously by audiences.

Tone. What is it? It's the mood behind the phrases we speak. It is what we are feeling, what midset we are in.

If I speak the phrase, "tell me more," I can say it with a variety of moods.

I can say it ANGRILY, if your baseball just smashed my windshield, after I warned you it would happen if you continued to play so close to my car.
I can say it SADLY, if someone is beginning to tell me a story about the death of an old friend of mine.
I can say it GLADLY, if I surmise that you are about to give me a promotion or if I'm glad that the school bully broke his arm
I can say it LASCIVIOUSLY, if I think you like me..a lot!
I can say it SARCASTICALLY if I really want you to stop talking about the matter.
AND SO ON.

You must decide, as you write, and before you speak, what tone you will project as you say each sentence of you presentation.

If you are reading from a script, you can write in the tone choices. If not, you need to remember them.

TUG OF WAR--eye contact, part eight

2009-07-22T13:42:00.000-07:00

TUG OF WAR

THIS IS ANOTHER ACTING GAME THAT CAN BE USED TO STRENGTHEN EYE CONTACT.

See an imaginary person in front of you.

Pick up a tug of war rope.

See him/her pick up his/her side of the rope.

Say any sentence, from a film or from a book, or from a quotations page . . . or just make up one.

As you say it, pull that rope, and the other person, in your direction, keeping your eyes, all of the time, on that person's face.

Then, allow that person to pull you in the opposite direction, as you say the same sentence.

See the person's face the whole time.

Then, with a real person, play the same game.

When speaking, when you look at a person, you are tugging that person, with your eyes--and an imaginary rope--in your direction, until you have finished your thought.

Then, you play tug with another person, eye to eye, pulling that person in your direction, and not letting that person get away

The exercises builds eye focus and intensity, getting your eyes accustomed to these techniques, making you more likely to use them when speaking.

PLEASE VISIT JOHN BUETTLER'S BLOG--

2009-07-22T13:40:00.000-07:00

PLEASE VISIT JOHN BUETTLER'S BLOG

JB AND I WILL SOON HAVE OUR SPEAKINGEDGE.COM WEBSITE UP AND RuNNING

http://jbspeakingedge.blogspot.com/

WARM PUPPY-eye contact: part seven

2009-07-17T21:34:00.000-07:00

WARM PUPPY

Try this exercise to warm up a frozen face.

Begin to speak, then pretend that a little puppy is licking your face.

Actually, if you have a puppy, try giving a part of your speech as he or she is licking you face and nestling against you.

If you want, have someone say to you, as you are speaking, "warm puppy lick lick" (smile) if your face freezes. I guarantee you, that your expression will melt, and your look will become warmer.

WIDE AND NARROW--eye contact: part six

2009-07-17T21:11:00.000-07:00

THE WIDE AND THE NARROW

Some people have a problem with frozen eyes--you know the kind of eyes that never seem to change their expression.

Sometimes they are frozen wide; sometimes they are frozen squinty. In any case, they say nothing because of their constancy.

One technique I use with people, to help rid this problem, is called the wide and the narrow.

Pretend there is a gorgeous baby in front of you.

Look at the baby with a big smile and say: Look how gorgeous you are..

Then, see the baby smile, and feel all loving inside, and squint your eyes and say. "I love you baby."

Wide eyes: to show the excitement.

Narrow eyes: to show the love.

Visualize the baby's face, and flip flop back and forth, working your eyes!

This exercise is a start!

REEL 'EM IN-eye contact: part five

2009-07-15T21:33:00.000-07:00

REEL 'EM IN WITH AN "AS IF" GAME

Practice this first on inanimate objects, then on a few family/friends/colleagues.

Then, see if it works for you, during a real presentation, to bring the audience's eyes to yours.

When you look at one person's eyes, you have casted out your fishing rod, and the fish has bitten the bait.

Stay with that one fish, and reel it in. Imagine that your steady gaze--your rod and line-- is bringing "sam the swordfish" right into your net, which is just below your chin.

Once sam is secured, cast your line to another person's eyes--sally the snapper!-- and reel sally in; in your mind's eyes see your taught line bring the catch to your net.

And remember, when you reel one person in, you have the effect of capturing the attention of every audience member.

Just don't let the fish go too early:)

more to come on eye contact...

A CLOSER LOOK--eye contact: part four

2009-07-14T20:34:00.000-07:00

A simple exercise, very non threatening, is to look at an object that is a few feet away. Just look at it for ten seconds or so.

Then, look at a small part of that object, and try to find the details--the lines, the swirls, the curves, the indentations, the imperfections.

Then focus on another part of the object, and do the same.

See, when we look at something, we seldom really really look at it--we glance, but seldom focus; we isolate, but hardly explore.

So, first, we need to train our eyes to look, really and richly and thoroughly look--at the smallest of surfaces.

Then, look at a friend's eyes.

Sure, at first, just latch on to his/her eyes. Then look deeply--try to get at the exact color, try to see what the pupils are doing; look or imperfections, and so on.

A CLOSER LOOK helps to train your eyes to focus, and it also is a game that you can "play" while you are making eye contact during speeches. And this will help to dissipate nervous eye movement.

More to come...

WANDERING EYES--eye contact:part three

2009-07-14T19:59:00.000-07:00

When I was in fifth grade, the nuns warned us of "wandering eyes" when taking tests. One used to say: "If they wander, you're a goner!" And let me tell you, some of those sisters meant what they said!

Later, in the eighth grade, as we matured physically and as some of our hormones kicked in, "wandering eyes" meant an entirely different thing--but with the same outcome, as far as the sisters were concerned!

Wandering eyes are also the bane, the achilles heel of many speakers. Some of us want to look at so many people at once that our eyes are like butterflies, flitting here and there, non stop, with no rhyme or reason. Some of us are just inherently jumpy, and our eyes just jump along with the errant and erratic--certainly unplanned--head movement. Some of us rotate our heads smoothly, slowly, and evenly from left to right and then back again, our eyes simply a part of a mindless mechanistic tendency to pan the audience. And some of us can't look at others eyes at all, and therefore avert to the floor, wall, or ceiling.

A number of us are cool with direct, intense, prolonged eye to eye contact. I'm convinced, on one level, it has a lot to do with how we are raised, how our upbringing and world experience have impacted our confidence levels.

Regardless, we need to control the eye contact, so that it is direct, sustained, caring, nurturing.

So, we can play theatre games to break bad habits and build good ones.

EYE CONTACT: THE EYES HAVE IT--part two

2009-07-12T21:38:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite poems is TS Eliot's "The Love Song Of J. Alfred Prufrock." In it, a put-upon man, fearful of failure and of the world's opinion of him, feels that he has known the eyes already, the "eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase."

Indeed, eyes can pin you to a wall, and I propose that, as a speaker, that is what you want to do to individual members of your audiences: pin them--well, without the menacing or the pain:).

When you look onto another's eyes, and hold that gaze, you show strength, you show concern. You rivet the receiver to his/her chair, and by doing so you also hold mesmerized every single person in the room.

By focusing your eye energy on one person for the length of a phrase or sentence, you enthrall everyone.

It's just how it works; trust in this fact.

In the next few posts, will explore the techniques to sharpen your eye-contact!

WHAT'S YOUR STATUS

2009-07-09T22:41:00.000-07:00

Dictionary.com defines the word status in this way: "the position of an individual in relation to another or others, esp. in regard to social or professional standing."

Instantly, we recognize the status of others. He seems shy. She looks nervous. He carries himself like a celebrity. She has movie star quality. He acts like he can buy a small country.

Many of our relations are really status driven. I order my obedient underlings to do their jobs. He cowers in the presence of the beautiful girl.

And a good number of our issues with other people arise from one person's need to raise his/her status at the expense of another's losing status.

Lots more can be said about this, but as a speaker you want to give off HIGH STATUS SIGNALS, not LOW STATUS RED FLAGS.

Note the NO and Yes chart below.

NO--LOW STATUS PHYSICALITY

YES--HIGH STATUS PHYSICALITY

NO--moving head randomly --

YES--keeping head still

NO--darting eyes

YES--keeping eyes still --directing one phrase to one person’s eyes--changing expression when moving to another’s eyes

NO--looking at empty spaces

YES--looking at people

NO--obsessing with notes

YES--looking down sparingly at notes, if permitted

NO--moving body jerkily

YES--moving body smoothly

NO--not using gestures

YES--using box, grapefruit, recreatives (more later)

NO--not completing gestures

YES--extending them out, holding them still, returning them smoothly (w/o wagging and dangling) --gesturing above the waist

NO--slumped posture

YES--erect but comfortable posture

NO--unsteady stance: NO--swaying, shifting weight, rocking, twisting

YES--steady stance (being still is good)

NO--frozen positioning

YES--facile movement during transitions in the speech

NO--blank look

YES--smile, facial expressions; eyes thinking

NO--unconcerned about feedback

YES--concerned about audience reaction and Comprehension/appreciation; adaptation

NO--dressing for failure--casual, unmatched, rumpled, wrinkled

YES--dressing for success: conservative elegant attired

NO--un-combed, unkempt hair

YES--neatly styled hair that says I mean business; hair away from eyes

NO--not “packaged” before walking up: no visibly emptying pockets, adjusting clothing, combing hair

YES--ready to seize the stage

NO--unprofessional visuals

YES--professional visuals

NO--LOW STATUS VOCALS

YES--HIGH STATUS VOCALS

NO--no contrast in pitch, volume, rate, phrasing

YES--meaningful contrast

NO--fuzzy articulation

YES--clear articulation

NO--lack of emphasis of pivotal words

YES--emphasis of pivotal words

NO--inaudibility

YES--clear projection

NO--memorized sound

YES--conversational, friendly sound

NO--low energy

YES--high energy: enthusiastic, passionate

NO--no Tonal meaning behind the words

YES--subtextual tonal meaning behind the words, a clear indication of emotion, feeling, thoughts, memories, desires

SPEAKER'S ANXIETY: part seven

2009-07-08T20:59:00.000-07:00

HOTEL HELL

One of my favorite proteges is a great guy named Franco. At fifteen, he was an amazing talent. But he tended to tighten up at major speech competitions.

We were at the national championships, in Dallas, and I needed to rid him of his one last inhibition. I knew he could place top six in the nation, out of 220+ entrants, but I needed a ruse to help him believe in himself.

So, I took him to a mobbed hotel lobby, so packed with noisy guests that walking to the elevators was difficult. I sat myself down in the center of the crowd, placed Franco at a distance from me and said: speak; ignore the people walking in front of you, talking over you, and staring at you.

And he did. He spoke to me, over, under, around, in between people, for two straight hours. At first, boy was he annoyed, but after a while he got into a groove, and even rose above the clamor.

The point? I created, for Franco, a far greater disturbance than he would ever encounter in a formal speaking situation. I proved to him that he could adjust and overcome.

He then said to me, without provocation: "Wow, after that, talking to people in a room is kinda' easy."

I'm proud to say that he placed sixth in the nation that year, and first in the nation the following year!

SO, CREATE YOUR OWN HOTEL HELL. SPEAK THERE. IT WILL MAKE A CIVIL SPEAKING SITUATION A PIECE OF CAKE.

SPEAKER'S ANXIETY: part six

2009-07-06T20:59:00.000-07:00

SMILE

When the audience sees you flash a confident smile accompanied with wide-eyed glee, they will smile back, and match your positive energy.

It's all about the give and take of energy.

You, in turn, will feel their energy, see their returned smiles, and this will put you at ease, and get you raring to go.

SPEAKER'S ANXIETY: part five

2009-07-06T14:26:00.000-07:00

AS IF

Young folks have peppered the decade with such gems as "whatever" and "as if." But AS IF has been around since we were kids. I acted as if I were the cowboy thwarting the attack of my brother the Indian. My brother acted as if he were Batman foiling the efforts of yours truly, the Joker.

In acting class the magical AS IF made even the most catatonic of kids bring their roles to life.

Here is how it works.

If I asked you to lift an imaginary weight, and then proceeded to add more weight in ten pound increments as you still were raising it up, chances are that you would strain more and more and more--even though no real weight is being added, let alone that no real anything is in your hands.

Our bodies have memories and our minds react to those memories. We can trick our bodies into living a memory as we speak.

Pretend that you are looking at a packed crowd at the World Cup Soccer CHampionship, and that you are the main cheerleader, helping one of your payers make the game winning score.

Pretend that you are a babysitter doing your best to entertain a few sad looking kids--and succeeding.

Pretend that you are a world class wrestler, robed in silk, walking into the stadium to a standing ovation, as your fans are cheering your name.

Pretend you are doing what really pumps you up--our body will remember the feeling, your mind will go with the flow, and you will be energized.

AS YOU APPROACH THE PODIUM OR CENTER STAGE, PRETEND AS IF YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING THAT ROCKS YOUR WORLD, CHARGES YOUR GETS.

SPEAKER'S ANXIETY: part four

2009-07-06T08:17:00.000-07:00

HIT THAT MAN IN THE MOON

I had a little league coach who used to have us close our eyes, during practice and before each game, and ask us to imagine that we hit a homer so far that it clipped the face of the man in the moon.

Well, though I only hit one home run during my short lived career, I did pick up something from that six foot four skinny man.

Visualization is an important element to success.

If you visualize yourself, in your mind's eye, delivering a wonderful speech, with the audience smiling, nodding their heads in agreement, laughing at your jokes, and giving you a standing O, you will less likely be nervous at all while presenting it, and you will more likely hit that man in the moon squarely in the jaw.

SPEAKING ANXIETY: part three

2009-07-05T21:18:00.000-07:00

IF YOUR CAR SKIDS ON ICE, DRIVE INTO THE SKID

Some driving instructor told me this in the seventies. He was a gruff, large man who chain smoked in the learners' car, and I think it was his simple away of putting things that made things stick.

We nicknamed him ALdO CHAIN:)

But, steering in the direction of a skid applies to speaking tension.

Simply put, by tensing up your muscles beforehand (either way before you speak or just prior to) you are exhausting your muscles with tension--after which your muscles will automatically relax.

So, if you are tense, make yourself more tense, by constricting and squeezing your muscles.

Tighten your fingers, your hands, your arms, your shoulders, your neck--then work the lower regions.

Then let the tension go--and enjoy relief as you begin to seize the stage.

SPEAKER'S ANXIETY: part two

2009-07-05T18:40:00.001-07:00

TAKE A BREATHER

I just adopted two kitties: a black and white tuxedo boy Brandon Poetry and a calico gal Kaycee Prose.

Their first week here was something: the pussycat wars raged as they vied for territory and as they each sought to be the best bud of Tony.

I noticed a few things: when one cat looked at the other the wrong way, both arched their bodies, as a jolt of nerves took charge.

We are like cats also. We tense, and our throats clench when we feel threatened.

One solution: BREATHING.

Breathing deeply (and I mean way into the lungs) when nervous will dissipate some of our cat-like tension, and will free up the throat.

Doing breathing exercises before speaking helps also. Try a few long yawns (not in front of the audience of course, but before you enter the space.) Take a few deep breaths while raising your arms in any direction, letting them drop on the exhalations.

Doing alternate nostril breathing really helps. I picked this up in an acting class.

Place your forefinger on your temple, and hold your right nostril shut with your right thumb.

Breathe in with your left nostril.

Close your left nostril with your middle finger.

Breathe out with your right nostril.

Repeat.

Then reverse the process.

Place your forefinger on your temple, and hold your left nostril shut with your middle finger.

Breathe in with your right nostril.

Close your right nostril with your middle finger.

Breathe out with your left nostril.

repeat.

Then breathe in with both nostrils, counting to five.

Then breathe out with both nostrils, counting to five.

This works.

But be careful.

You can get a little lightheaded at first, so practice it a number of times well ahead of your performance.

But it does ease the tension.

I can tell that my cats have chilled some.

I can hear their purrs--which means they are relaxed and BREATHING easy.

SPEAKER'S ANXIETY: part one

2009-07-04T18:10:00.000-07:00

LET THOSE BUTTERFLIES TAKE FLIGHT

It's been said that people fear public speaking more than they fear death. Well, if someone put a a gun to my temple, I would speak my heart out.

All of us get anxious--it's a natural human reaction to "what's next?" or "will they like me?" So, the first step is to recognize that even the best of actors and speakers feel those butterflies. What is different, is that seasoned presenters allow those butterflies to take flight, using their anxiety to energize their work.

Feel a nervous twitch in your hand? Use a dramatic gesture. Your hand is telling you it wants to play a bigger part in your performance. If your chest feel tight, take a deep breath, and speak as if you are in the Colisseum, reaching the crowds and hordes at a great distance.

Is your leg shaking? Do a walk across the stage or around the podium. Your leg wants to get involved.

EYE CONTACT: THE EYES HAVE IT

2009-06-29T21:45:00.000-07:00

The look of love is in your eyes.

The eyes are the window to the soul.

Eye contact says a lot about your self confidence and outward concern for others.

It also is a sign of belief: having an "I mean it" look in your eyes will often close the deal.

If you do not look your interviewer in the eye, chances are you will not be hired.

So, what problems do we have with eye contact?

First, we tend not to look people directly in the eye; instead our eyes hazily meander from the back wall, to the floor, with maybe a sneak peek at one person's face.

Here's my advice: pretend that your audience consists of children who are tearing up, and in need of your help and reassurance. When I see a kid in trouble, I look wide-eyed at the cherub, and my eyes make a direct and prolonged connection with his or her eyes.

Here's another piece of advice: when talking with people look at their eyes to see exactly what color they are. If you reduce eye contact to an interesting study, you focus any nervous energy you have on that ask, and the twitchy eye contact goes away.

Second, we tend to only look at people and not look into people. What does this mean? Well, if I am just sending out the message to people's faces, I am missing out on what's more important: my concern that they understand and appreciate what I am saying. SO, when you make eye contact, you are saying, with your eyes, do you follow? do you see? do you understand?

Here are some general rules of thumb:

1. Look at someone, eye to eye, for the length of a phrase/thought. A phrase is like a punch: for a punch to land it must follow through. So, I begin looking at Joe's eyes, and I finish the phrase while still looking at Joe's eyes. Then, I move to another's eyes, as I begin a new phrase.

2. When you are ready to engage person number two, easily change your gaze to number two's eyes, and accompany that change with some sort of new facial expression.

3. During the silence after you deliver an important phrase, make eye contact with several people in the audience, as if saying: do you believe what I just said?

4. If your eyes tend to freeze up in panic, pretend that a little puppy is licking your face, or that you are holding a smiling gurgling baby in your arms. The images will loosen you up. Also, doing a line by line tone analysis will give you emotions to express, and this will automatically unglue the frozen look.

YOU GOT THE LOOK

2009-06-29T12:00:00.000-07:00

Despite the old adage that we should not judge a book by its cover, most of us do; first impressions count.

First, check yourself out ahead of time. Before you are called up to speak, your audience is watching you, assessing your credibility and poise and confidence. Hit a restroom to see that no piece of clothing is our of place, and no hair is waving in front of your eyes.

Second, that being done, sit in a way that says I'm comfortable and in control. Look pleased. Smile. Listen intently to others who speak before you. Lean into them, and enjoy what they say, and provide positive feedback: shake your head in agreement, and smile in appreciation. Because you are a great audience member, you will be more liked when your time to speak comes.

Third, when you are introduced, BEAM. Listen with pride. Rise slowly from your seat, remaining still for a bit to show that you are in control, then walk confidently to the podium or the designated performance area. Keep your head held high, and smile away.

Fourth, turn to listeners with the warmth and control of a benevolent god, who knows that his people are waiting for him/her to bring them the joyful good news:)! Actually, I often have those i coach practice out loud saying to themselves, "I am god, and i love you, and i am here to make it all better."

Fifth, keep on smiling, making eye contact with select people to your left, to your right, and dead center. I'll talk more about eye contact later.

Sixth, take a pause before you begin; never rush into your presentation. Enjoy the anticipation in their eyes, as your smile makes them smile.

Seventh, begin, always remembering that you are the one who is there to spread the good news; news you love to spread.

THE SPEAKING VARIABLES

2009-06-29T08:50:00.000-07:00

Let’s face it: A well delivered decent speech sells better than a shabbily delivered excellent one. Vocal variety is a must. Read here what you need to do with your voice in order to mesmerize your audience with your excellent camp text.

Paralanguage is the use of inflection and modulation to convey meaning.

The rule of thumb is to use CONTRAST. If the whole world turned “orange” we would see nothing, as everything would be one color; only by seeing white against red or yellow against blue can we see ANY color. So, in order for an audience to “see” and “hear” what we are saying we must have sufficient contrast.

What are the variables?

PITCH High to low (high when piercingly excited; low when calm and relaxed—with lots of variance in between)

VOLUME Loud to soft (loud if you want to audibly arrest an audience; soft if you want to lure them in to feel what you are feeling, to heed each and every word)

RATE Fast to slow (fast if you are talking about something inherently exciting or if you are telling a something which quickly builds to a climax; slow if you are deadly serious, if you are establishing the bottom line)

STRESS Word emphasis is necessary to highlight what is important (either by raising pitch and volume on a word/phrase or by stretching a word/phrase it or by doing something else that draws attention to it)

TONE CHOOSING THE RIGHT TONE FOR EACH AND EVERY PHRASE IS CRUCIAL. TONE CHOICES TELL YOUR LISTENERS HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE SAYING. ARE YOU MAD? SAD? GLAD? SCARED? AND SO ON.

QUALITY Pulling sound from the entire chest cavity, producing full volume and resonance, to pulling sound from the throat, producing a lesser volume and resonance (in the first case to take over a room; in the second case to show your sensitivity)

PHRASING Pausing after a few words to pausing after many words (in the first case to make the point slowly so that it sinks in; in the second case to build to some climax)

ARTICULATION Fuzzy (bad) to crisp (good).

SYLLABLE DURATION One second per syllable to a few per syllable