RATE: GO SPEED RACER, GO!

GO SPEED RACER, GO!

You've met him: the person who speaks so quickly that a lengthy paragraph is sped through in one breath.

You've met her: the person who speaks so slowly that one sentence appears to be a chapter's length.

The Rate/pace with which we speak is important.

Logically, if you are building  a story to an exciting climax, you might want to quicken up the pace.

On the other hand, if you are explaining something delicate or difficult, speaking slowly and deliberately would give the audience time to process and understand your message.

If reading from a manuscript, mark FAST if you purposely want to build momentum; mark SLOW, if you need to slow down to assure audience understanding.

VOLUME: TALK TO THE TREES

TALK TO THE TREES

I don't know why I never watched SEINFELD regularly. The few episodes I caught were hilarious, and the people types they poked fun at are ones I see all around me.

One type is the "close talker"--the kind of operson who needs to be in your face when speaking, and when that happens, the soudn is usually too soft anyway.

Another is the loud talker," who says everything with exclamation points, with the thunderous effect of angry god..

But the volume we use says...volumes... about who we are and what we mean. Sometimes, however, people get stuck in a volume rut.

If you are generally too soft of a close talker, I advise that you "talk to the trees." This is what I mean. Go outside, look at a faraway tree, and speak to it so that your voice reaches it. You'd be surprised how our volumes do adjust to distance.

Then pretend, in a small room, that the people are trees that are far away. And speak to them with the same far reaching volume.

And use common sense. If you are at a viewing, you wouldn't look into the face of the deceased and yell goodbye. An instinct tells you to be soft.

If you were announcing a hockey game, you would not whisper the play by play; instead you'd be screaming into the microphone.

If you are deadly serious, you would be soft.

If elated, you would be louder.

If reading from a manuscript, mark the text with volume shifts: mark LOUD and SOFT during parts where the contrast is appropriate.

TONE: DON'T USE THAT TONE OF VOICE,.YOUNG MAN

DON'T USE THAT TONE OF VOICE, YOUNG MAN

If I had a quarter for every time my mother said this to me, I could have retired by my senior year of high school.

The tone we take when saying what we say, says more than the words themselves. And a speaker who does not make tonal choices generally goes ignored or is not taken seriously by audiences.

Tone. What is it? It's the mood behind the phrases we speak. It is what we are feeling, what midset we are in.

If I speak the phrase, "tell me more," I can say it with a variety of moods.

I can say it ANGRILY, if your baseball just smashed my windshield, after I warned you it would happen if you continued to play so close to my car.
I can say it SADLY, if someone is beginning to tell me a story about the death of an old friend of mine.
I can say it GLADLY, if I surmise that you are about to give me a promotion or if I'm glad that the school bully broke his arm
I can say it LASCIVIOUSLY, if I think you like me..a lot!
I can say it SARCASTICALLY if I really want you to stop talking about the matter.
AND SO ON.

You must decide, as you write, and before you speak, what tone you will project as you say each sentence of you presentation.

If you are reading from a script, you can write in the tone choices. If not, you need to remember them.

TUG OF WAR--eye contact, part eight

TUG OF WAR

THIS IS ANOTHER ACTING GAME THAT CAN BE USED TO STRENGTHEN EYE CONTACT.

See an imaginary person in front of you.

Pick up a tug of war rope.

See him/her pick up his/her side of the rope.

Say any sentence, from a film or from a book, or from a quotations page . . . or just make up one.

As you say it, pull that rope, and the other person, in your direction, keeping your eyes, all of the time, on that person's face.

Then, allow that person to pull you in the opposite direction, as you say the same sentence.

See the person's face the whole time.

Then, with a real person, play the same game.

When speaking, when you look at a person, you are tugging that person, with your eyes--and an imaginary rope--in your direction, until you have finished your thought.

Then, you play tug with another person, eye to eye, pulling that person in your direction, and not letting that person get away

The exercises builds eye focus and intensity, getting your eyes accustomed to these techniques, making you more likely to use them when speaking.

PLEASE VISIT JOHN BUETTLER'S BLOG--

PLEASE VISIT JOHN BUETTLER'S BLOG

JB AND I WILL SOON HAVE OUR SPEAKINGEDGE.COM WEBSITE UP AND RuNNING

http://jbspeakingedge.blogspot.com/

WARM PUPPY-eye contact: part seven

WARM PUPPY

Try this exercise to warm up a frozen face.

Begin to speak, then pretend that a little puppy is licking your face.

Actually, if you have a puppy, try giving a part of your speech as he or she is licking you face and nestling against you.

If you want, have someone say to you, as you are speaking, "warm puppy lick lick" (smile) if your face freezes. I guarantee you, that your expression will melt, and your look will become warmer.

WIDE AND NARROW--eye contact: part six

THE WIDE AND THE NARROW

Some people have a problem with frozen eyes--you know the kind of eyes that never seem to change their expression.

Sometimes they are frozen wide; sometimes they are frozen squinty. In any case, they say nothing because of their constancy.

One technique I use with people, to help rid this problem, is called the wide and the narrow.

Pretend there is a gorgeous baby in front of you.

Look at the baby with a big smile and say: Look how gorgeous you are.. 

Then, see the baby smile, and feel all loving inside, and squint your eyes and say. "I love you baby."

Wide eyes: to show the excitement.

Narrow eyes: to show the love.

Visualize the baby's face, and flip flop back and forth, working your eyes!

This exercise is a start!

REEL 'EM IN-eye contact: part five

REEL 'EM IN WITH AN "AS IF" GAME

Practice this first on inanimate objects, then on a few family/friends/colleagues.

Then, see if it works for you, during a real presentation, to bring the audience's eyes to yours.

When you look at one person's eyes, you have casted out your fishing rod, and the fish has bitten the bait.

Stay with that one fish, and reel it in. Imagine that your steady gaze--your rod and line-- is bringing "sam the swordfish" right into your net, which is just below your chin. 

Once sam is secured, cast your line to another person's eyes--sally the snapper!-- and reel sally in; in your mind's eyes see your taught line bring the catch to your net.

And remember, when you reel one person in, you have the effect of capturing the attention of every audience member.

Just don't let the fish go too early:)

more to come on eye contact...

A CLOSER LOOK--eye contact: part four

A simple exercise, very non threatening, is to look at an object that is a few feet away. Just look at it for ten seconds or so.

Then, look at a small part of that object, and try to find the details--the lines, the swirls, the curves, the indentations, the imperfections.

Then focus on another part of the object, and do the same.

See, when we look at something, we seldom really really look at it--we glance, but seldom focus; we isolate, but hardly explore.

So, first, we need to train our eyes to look, really and richly and thoroughly look--at the smallest of surfaces.

Then, look at a friend's eyes. 

Sure, at first, just latch on to his/her eyes. Then look deeply--try to get at the exact color, try to see what the pupils are doing; look or imperfections, and so on.

A CLOSER LOOK  helps to train your eyes to focus, and it also is a game that you can "play" while you are making eye contact during speeches. And this will help to dissipate nervous eye movement.

More to come...

WANDERING EYES--eye contact:part three

When I was in fifth grade, the nuns warned us of "wandering eyes" when taking tests. One used to say: "If they wander, you're a goner!" And let me tell you, some of those sisters meant what they said!

Later, in the eighth grade, as we matured physically and as some of our hormones kicked in, "wandering eyes" meant an entirely different thing--but with the same outcome, as far as the sisters were concerned!

Wandering eyes are also the bane, the achilles heel of many speakers. Some of us want to look at so many people at once that our eyes are like butterflies, flitting here and there, non stop, with no rhyme or reason. Some of us are just inherently jumpy, and  our eyes just jump along with the errant and erratic--certainly unplanned--head movement. Some of us rotate our heads smoothly, slowly, and evenly from left to right and then back again, our eyes simply a part of a mindless mechanistic tendency to pan the audience. And some of us can't look at others eyes at all, and therefore avert to the floor, wall, or ceiling.

A number of us are cool with direct, intense, prolonged eye to eye contact. I'm convinced, on one level, it has a lot to do with how we are raised, how our upbringing and world experience have impacted our confidence levels.

Regardless, we need to control the eye contact, so that it is direct, sustained, caring, nurturing.

So, we can play theatre games to break bad habits and build good ones.

EYE CONTACT: THE EYES HAVE IT--part two

One of my favorite poems is TS Eliot's "The Love Song Of J. Alfred Prufrock." In it, a put-upon man, fearful of failure and of the world's opinion of him, feels that he has known the eyes already, the "eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase."

Indeed, eyes can pin you to a wall, and I propose that, as a speaker, that is what you want to do to individual members of your audiences: pin them--well, without the menacing or the pain:).

When you look onto another's eyes, and hold that gaze, you show strength, you show concern. You rivet the receiver to his/her chair, and by doing so you also hold mesmerized every single person in the room.

By focusing your eye energy on one person for the length of a phrase or sentence, you enthrall everyone.

It's just how it works; trust in this fact.

In the next few posts, will explore the techniques to sharpen your eye-contact!

WHAT'S YOUR STATUS

Dictionary.com defines the word status in this way:  "the position of an individual in relation to another or others, esp. in regard to social or professional standing."

Instantly, we recognize the status of others. He seems shy. She looks nervous. He carries himself like a celebrity. She has movie star quality. He acts like he can buy a small country.

Many of our relations are really status driven. I order my obedient underlings to do their jobs. He cowers in the presence of the beautiful girl. 

And a good number of our issues with other people arise from one person's need to raise his/her status at the expense of another's losing status.

Lots more can be said about this, but as a speaker you want to give off HIGH STATUS SIGNALS, not LOW STATUS RED FLAGS.

Note the NO and Yes chart below.

NO--LOW STATUS PHYSICALITY                                    

YES--HIGH STATUS PHYSICALITY

NO--moving head randomly                                                      --

YES--keeping head still

NO--darting eyes                                                                        

YES--keeping eyes still --directing one phrase to one person’s eyes--changing expression when moving to another’s eyes             

NO--looking at empty spaces                                                     

YES--looking at people

NO--obsessing with notes                                                      

YES--looking down sparingly at notes, if permitted

NO--moving body jerkily                                                                       

YES--moving body smoothly                                                     

NO--not using gestures                                                                       

YES--using box, grapefruit, recreatives (more later)

NO--not completing gestures                                                      

YES--extending them out, holding them  still, returning them smoothly (w/o wagging and dangling) --gesturing above the waist

NO--slumped posture                                                                       

YES--erect but comfortable posture

NO--unsteady stance: NO--swaying, shifting weight, rocking, twisting                                                                      

YES--steady stance (being still is good)

NO--frozen positioning                                                                        

YES--facile movement during transitions in the speech

NO--blank look                                                                       

YES--smile, facial expressions; eyes thinking               

NO--unconcerned about feedback                                                      

YES--concerned about audience reaction and Comprehension/appreciation; adaptation

NO--dressing for failure--casual, unmatched, rumpled, wrinkled                                                                   

YES--dressing for success: conservative elegant attired                                                                                         

NO--un-combed, unkempt hair                                                     

YES--neatly styled hair that says I mean business; hair away from eyes

NO--not “packaged” before walking up: no visibly emptying pockets, adjusting clothing, combing hair                               

YES--ready to seize the stage

NO--unprofessional visuals                                                     

YES--professional visuals

                                                                                                       

NO--LOW STATUS VOCALS                                                     

YES--HIGH STATUS VOCALS

 

NO--no contrast in  pitch, volume, rate, phrasing                                                                   

YES--meaningful contrast

NO--fuzzy articulation                                                                        

YES--clear articulation

NO--lack of emphasis of pivotal words                                    

YES--emphasis of pivotal words

NO--inaudibility                                                                        

YES--clear projection

NO--memorized sound                                                                        

YES--conversational, friendly sound

NO--low energy                                                                        

YES--high energy: enthusiastic, passionate

NO--no Tonal meaning behind the words                                                      

YES--subtextual tonal meaning behind the words, a clear indication of emotion, feeling, thoughts, memories, desires

 

 

SPEAKER'S ANXIETY: part seven

HOTEL HELL

One of my favorite proteges is a great guy named Franco. At fifteen, he was an amazing talent. But he tended to tighten up at major speech competitions. 

We were at the national championships, in Dallas, and I needed to rid him of his one last inhibition. I knew he could place top six in the nation, out of 220+ entrants, but I needed a ruse to help him believe in himself.

So, I took him to a mobbed hotel lobby, so packed with noisy guests that walking to the elevators was difficult. I sat myself down in the center of the crowd, placed Franco at a distance from me and said: speak; ignore the people walking in front of you, talking over you, and staring at you. 

And he did. He spoke to me, over, under, around, in between people, for two straight hours. At first, boy was he annoyed, but after a while he got into a groove, and even rose above the clamor.

The point? I created, for Franco,  a far greater disturbance than he would ever encounter in a formal speaking situation. I proved to him that he could adjust and overcome.

He then said to me, without provocation: "Wow, after that, talking to people in a room is kinda' easy."

I'm proud to say that he placed sixth in the nation that year, and first in the nation the following year!

SO, CREATE YOUR OWN HOTEL HELL. SPEAK THERE. IT WILL MAKE A CIVIL SPEAKING SITUATION A PIECE OF CAKE.

SPEAKER'S ANXIETY: part six

SMILE

When the audience sees you flash a confident smile accompanied with wide-eyed glee, they will smile back, and match your positive energy.

It's all about the give and take of energy.

You, in turn, will feel their energy, see their returned smiles, and this will put you at ease, and get you raring to go.

SPEAKER'S ANXIETY: part five

AS IF 

Young folks have peppered the decade with such gems as "whatever" and "as if." But AS IF has been around since we were kids. I acted as if I were the cowboy thwarting the attack of my brother the Indian.  My brother acted as if he were Batman foiling the efforts of yours truly, the Joker.

In  acting class the magical  AS IF made even the most catatonic of kids bring their roles to life.

Here is how it works.

If I asked you to lift an imaginary weight, and then proceeded to add more weight in ten pound increments as you still were raising it up, chances are that you would strain more and more and more--even though no real weight is being added, let alone that no real anything is in your hands.

Our bodies have memories and our minds react to those memories. We can trick our bodies into living a memory as we speak.

Pretend that you are looking at a packed crowd at the World Cup Soccer CHampionship, and that you are the main cheerleader, helping one of your payers make the game winning score.

Pretend that you are a babysitter doing your best to entertain a few sad looking kids--and succeeding.

Pretend that you are a world class wrestler, robed in silk, walking into the stadium to a  standing ovation, as your fans are cheering your name.

Pretend you are doing what really pumps you up--our body will remember the feeling, your mind will go with the flow, and you will be energized.

AS YOU APPROACH THE PODIUM OR CENTER STAGE, PRETEND AS IF YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING THAT ROCKS YOUR WORLD, CHARGES YOUR GETS.

SPEAKER'S ANXIETY: part four

HIT THAT MAN IN THE MOON

I had a little league coach who used to have us close our eyes, during practice and before each game, and ask us to imagine that we hit a homer so far that it clipped the face of the man in the moon.

Well, though I only hit one home run during my short lived career, I did pick up something from that six foot four skinny man.

Visualization is an important element to success.

If you visualize yourself, in your mind's eye, delivering a wonderful speech, with the audience smiling, nodding their heads in agreement, laughing at your jokes, and giving you a standing O, you will less likely be nervous at all while presenting it, and you will more likely hit that man in the moon squarely in the jaw.

SPEAKING ANXIETY: part three

IF YOUR CAR SKIDS ON ICE, DRIVE INTO THE SKID

Some driving instructor told me this in the seventies. He was a gruff, large man who chain smoked in the learners' car, and I think it was his simple away of putting things that made things stick.

We nicknamed him ALdO CHAIN:)

But, steering in the direction of a skid applies to speaking tension.

Simply put, by tensing up your muscles beforehand (either way before you speak or just prior to) you are exhausting your muscles with tension--after which your muscles will automatically relax.

So, if you are tense, make yourself more tense, by constricting and squeezing your muscles.

Tighten your fingers, your hands, your arms, your shoulders, your neck--then work the lower regions.

Then let the tension go--and enjoy relief as you begin to seize the stage.

SPEAKER'S ANXIETY: part two

TAKE A BREATHER

I just adopted two kitties: a black and white tuxedo boy Brandon Poetry and a calico gal Kaycee Prose. 

Their first week here was something: the pussycat wars raged as they vied for territory and as they each sought to be the best bud of Tony.

I noticed a few things: when one cat looked at the other the wrong way, both arched their bodies, as a jolt of nerves took charge.

We are like cats also. We tense, and our throats clench when we feel threatened. 

One solution: BREATHING.

Breathing deeply (and I mean way into the lungs) when nervous will dissipate some of our cat-like tension, and will free up the throat.

Doing breathing exercises before speaking helps also. Try a few long yawns (not in front of the audience of course, but before you enter the space.) Take a few deep breaths while raising your arms in any direction, letting them drop on the exhalations.

Doing alternate nostril breathing really helps. I picked this up in an acting class. 

Place your forefinger on your temple, and hold your right nostril shut with your right thumb.

Breathe in with your left nostril.

Close your left nostril with your middle finger.

Breathe out with your right nostril.

Repeat.

Then reverse the process.

Place your forefinger on your temple, and hold your left nostril shut with your middle finger.

Breathe in with your right nostril.

Close your right nostril with your middle finger.

Breathe out with your left nostril.

repeat.

Then breathe in with both nostrils, counting to five.

Then breathe out with both nostrils, counting to five.

This works.

But be careful.

You can get a little lightheaded at first, so practice it a number of times well ahead of your performance.

But it does ease the tension.

I can tell that my cats have chilled some.

I can hear their purrs--which means they are relaxed and BREATHING easy.

SPEAKER'S ANXIETY: part one

LET THOSE BUTTERFLIES TAKE FLIGHT

It's been said that people fear public speaking more than they fear death. Well, if someone put a a gun to my temple, I would speak my heart out.

All of us get anxious--it's a natural human reaction to "what's next?" or "will they like me?" So, the first step is to recognize that even the best of actors and speakers feel those butterflies. What is different, is that seasoned presenters allow those butterflies to take flight, using their anxiety to energize their work.

Feel a nervous twitch in your hand? Use a dramatic gesture. Your hand is telling you it wants to play a bigger part in your performance. If your chest feel tight, take a deep breath, and speak as if you are in the Colisseum, reaching the crowds and hordes at a great distance.

Is your leg shaking? Do a walk across the stage or around the podium. Your leg wants to get involved.